John A Vlahides

The following list surfaced in Harper’s magazine, January 2011, from a series of “Market Profiles” by VisitBritain, the official UK tourism bureau. Written “to help everyone in tourism, from taxi drivers to hotel personnel,” in preparation for the 2012 Olympics in London, the list was intended to “provide an even more efficient and helpful customer service that takes account of cultural needs.”

• Cleanliness is of major importance to Austrians.
• The Portuguese take great pride in wearing good fabrics and clothes of the best standard they can afford.
• New Zealanders are accustomed to high-pressure showers, not a weak dribble from a nozzle, and are also used to gallons and gallons of hot water being available.
• Although Italians give little care to public places, they are scrupulously clean in their own homes.
• Don’t be offended by Argentine humor, which may mildly attack your clothing or weight.
• Canadians often identify themselves as Canadian by wearing a maple-leaf pin or a maple leaf on their clothing.
• Czechs are very sensitive to price changes.
• Brazilians do not travel lightly.
• As a nation, Germans are interested in many things; however, football, cars, travel, culture, their homes, and getting a good deal are some of the most important.
• The Dutch have a strong desire to order their time in agendas and on calendars.
• Mexicans drink huge quantities of soft drinks and beer.
• Good conversational topics are Mexican culture, history, museums. Never discuss the Mexican American War, poverty, aliens, or earthquakes.
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Hilltop above Carmel Valley, California

Hwy 121 Westbound, Napa to Sonoma

Big rains this spring have greened the entire state of California, from north to south. What’s not green is white: the Sierra remain buried under the deepest snowpack in 20 years.  In a few weeks, once rainy season ends, everywhere but the mountains will turn gold—the color of lion’s fur, the dusty brown of tourist season. Now is the time for a road trip. As a professional travel correspondent, I always schedule California research trips for spring. Here’s why. [click to continue…]

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Burj al-Arab Casting Shade on the Persian Gulf

Dubai is home to some of the world’s most instantly recognizable hotels, but does the service measure up to the facilities? Some come close, but none I found merits the rarefied ranking of a real five-star. And that includes the iconic sail-shaped Burj al-Arab—which I prefer to call the Bourgeois à l’Arabe.

What distinguishes five-star from four-star service? The primary difference lies in the anticipation of a guest’s needs. A good hotel provides what you want before you know you want it. An example: You’re at a city hotel in, say, London, and step outside just as it begins to rain. Before you have to ask, the doorman offers an umbrella. Sure, any good four-star stocks umbrellas, but only the five-star will thrust one into your hand at the exact moment you need it, without your having to request it. Herein lies the problem. [click to continue…]

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In this short film for NatGeo & Lonely Planet TV, I’m on the hunt for the French Foreign Legion in Madagascar, exploring the island’s wind-whipped northeastern coastline via ATV. My destination: an abandoned lighthouse and military base, lately colonized by goats and a charming young goatherd.

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On assignment in Madagascar for National Geographic and Lonely Planet, I made a detour to investigate Ilakaka, the gem capital of Madagascar, a boomtown gone bust, where Osama bin Laden’s brother-in-law got shot to death. The place gave me the creeps. I didn’t stick around.

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While in Morocco for Nat Geo TV, I was asked to investigate pottery, one of the country’s most famous artisinal traditions. The following short film, produced by Lonely Planet Television, captures the skill and hard work of these incredible craftsmen. Have a look.

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On assignment in Morocco last year, Lonely Planet gave me the task of investigating Sufism, the mystical branch of Islam, for broadcast on National Geographic Channels International. The following footage wound up on the cutting room floor, but recently reappeared on YouTube.

Sufi music is a means of connecting to the Divine through chanting and dance. But it’s more than simply worship; it also serves a therapeutic purpose. When someone is depressed or otherwise mentally ill, Sufis consider the sufferer to be endiablé – inhabited by a devil – and the only solution is to drive away the demon with an ever-crescendoing swell of heavy percussion and songs set to religious poetry. It’s incredibly loud – especially when the horns blare.

Imagine yourself depressed. A brotherhood of ten robed mystics shows up at your bedside and starts drumming and singing in a clamorous fortissimo. There’s no ignoring them – and that’s the point: to penetrate the sufferer’s consciousness, rouse him from torpor, and get him up and moving in a sort of trance-dance. Once this happens, the music must not stop until the endiablé falls to the floor, an indication that the demon has been exorcised. [click to continue…]

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I spent springtime researching Provence and the Côte d’Azur for a new book, getting lost on back roads as often as time allowed. As a travel journalist, I rarely have time to linger at the most beautiful places I’m paid to cover.  So I snap pics to remind myself where I’d like to return, once I’m no longer on deadline.

The Luberon Mountains, just after a driving rain. The clouds broke and a rainbow exploded over the vineyards of Joucas. This is the land that Peter Mayle fetishized in A Year in Provence.
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It’s the emerald month in California. While most of America waits for spring’s first crocuses to pop through mud and snow, California glows electric green everywhere you go—everywhere except the Sierra, which are buried beneath 15ft of white. Where to head now? Anywhere. Get in the car and drive, preferably through the foothills of the Sierra (where this picture was taken),  but even I-5 looks fantastic in March.

Lake Tahoe Winking Through the Trees

The skiing in the Sierra this season has been epic, and the current series of cold storms means the snow will last well past April. Horizon Air started new service to Mammoth Lakes from LAX and SJC, shortening the 7-hour drive from the Bay Area to a mere 45 minutes, meaning you can ski California’s top ski mountain the same day you arrive. My top pick for Tahoe this season has been Alpine Meadows, where powder stashes remain days after a storm. Tip: If you’re an expert, find the Palisades—that’s Tahoe winking at you through the trees.

Forgive my silence: I’ll be in Provence and the Côte d’Azur for the spring, researching a new book for Lonely Planet. If I have time, I’ll update you on what’s happening on the French Riviera—with any luck, I’ll be typing from a yacht in St-Tropez. Regardless, I’m back in May. See you on the road, if not the Mediterranean.

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